{"id":2065,"date":"2020-10-31T20:17:29","date_gmt":"2020-11-01T00:17:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/?p=2065"},"modified":"2020-10-31T23:25:15","modified_gmt":"2020-11-01T03:25:15","slug":"tiyanak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/31\/tiyanak\/","title":{"rendered":"Tiyanak"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0<\/em>A tiyanak! That\u2019s what got that poor girl. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Even the silent mouthing of the name \u201ctiyanak\u201d gave Julia goosebumps. She was staying with her grandmother, Lola Mina, for summer vacation. Lola Mina\u2019s cook, Inday, was convinced this malevolent creature had attacked the girl whose body had been found in the forest, the ground beneath soaked in blood. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t tell your Lola Mina I told you, Inday wagged her forefinger at Julia.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

But there were other whisperings in the barrio, that the girl had been pregnant, that she didn\u2019t want to be pregnant and tried to do something about it. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Do what? But Inday shushed her, that part was not for an eight-year-old child\u2019s ears. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

What needs doing\u2014and you better listen little one\u2014is to find someone who would do right by you. Then there wouldn\u2019t be any of this business of doing-something-about-it, Inday muttered as she chopped the cabbage head in two. <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

Amniocentesis\u2014a word she could barely pronounce, much less spell. Chromosomal abnormalities would\u2019ve rolled out easily but Julia couldn\u2019t bring herself to say them out loud. The doctor looks grim in his delivery of the possible outcomes. Likely, she will not carry the baby to term.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLike nature cleaning up after itself,\u201d he says.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or she could, but he\u2019s unable to tell them the severity of the birth defect, or the life expectancy of the child.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDid I do something wrong? Eat something I shouldn\u2019t have?\u201d she asks.<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor shakes his head. Philip, sitting beside her, motions for her to be quiet with a hand gesture. She waits to feel his hand land on hers or on her knee, to connect with any part of her body. But his gaze is focused on the doctor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cAnd a third option, perhaps\u2026?\u201d Philip trails off.<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor sighs. \u201cHere? Impossible.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But off the record: from Manila, it\u2019s a short flight to Singapore or Taiwan to have the procedure. He can make some calls for them. Over there, they are no-nonsense, efficient.<\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

Her finger traces the trail of a droplet of rain on their apartment window. Philip gets up from his desk and sits beside her on the couch.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJulia, the appointment\u2019s been confirmed. I\u2019ve booked our tickets.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She doesn\u2019t answer.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just glad we haven\u2019t told a lot of people. I told you, it\u2019s always smarter to wait. And for those who know, we can just tell them you lost the baby,\u201d he rambles through her silence.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPhilip, what if\u2026what if the results are wrong? Tests can be wrong.\u201d Her voice breaks. She wants to tell him, it\u2019s going to be a boy, our<\/em> beautiful baby boy.<\/span><\/p>\n

He takes both her hands. \u201cJulia, honey, listen. We need to be realistic about what we<\/em> can handle. We need to think of this as an act of mercy.\u201d She wriggles her hands free.<\/span><\/p>\n

He moves to kneel in front of her. \u201cPlease, Julia. I don\u2019t want you to ever think I\u2019m blaming you<\/em> for this. I\u2019m not. But think of us.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He lays his head on her lap, pulls at her hand and presses it over his cheek. \u201cThis will pass. Trust me, everything will turn out fine. Then, we\u2019ll try again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She winces, but he doesn\u2019t see. He turns his head slightly and plants a kiss on the palm of her hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

What does she remember? Bright white lights from being wheeled through corridors, cold metal against her skin, a series of unremarkable faces peering at her. World-class efficiency. They had offered to keep her awake throughout the procedure. Philip requested that she be sedated. She supposed that was better.<\/span><\/p>\n

They asked if she could stay an extra day or two to schedule post-procedure counseling. Philip told them that wouldn\u2019t be necessary.<\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

They don\u2019t talk about it. She doesn\u2019t bring it up; Philip\u2019s mood is visibly lighter. She goes right back to work. Close friends fuss over her, reassuring her that miscarriages are much more common than people think. She tells them she doesn\u2019t want to talk about it. They seem relieved.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the shower, she sees her breasts start to leak milk. She takes the unused breast pump from its packaging and tries it on one breast, then on the other, copying what she had seen some friends do. She\u2019s able to collect a little milk, which she stores in the freezer. She doesn\u2019t mention it to Philip. A week later, the milk stops coming. She curls up in the bathroom, stuffs a washcloth in her mouth, and cries.<\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

But what\u2019s a tiyanak, Inday? <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Ay, your Lola will skin me alive if I tell you! <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

But Inday loved a good audience: A tiyanak is a baby who didn\u2019t get the chance to be born. Ripped out from its mother\u2019s womb. Thrown away without a whispered prayer nor a drop of holy water to bless it. So tiyanaks are barred from heaven, doomed to roam the earth for eternity. Filled with hate, they draw people into the forest by mimicking a baby crying. They can change the form, look like a real baby. When they have their prey close, they transform back into the unholy creatures that they are\u2014hideous, with sharp blackened teeth, bloodshot eyes, claws for hands, and feet. I don\u2019t know of anyone who has survived such an encounter. That\u2019s why you won\u2019t ever, ever get me to walk in the forest at night! <\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

Footsteps. She starts to hear tiny footsteps scurrying across the floor, pitter-pattering, but only when Philip is not at home. She would feel the hairs on the back of her neck rise. Whenever she would turn or peer in the hallway, she would see nothing. Once a door creaked. She looked at Philip. He told her it was just the wind and continued reading on his tablet.<\/span><\/p>\n

At the office, strange things start happening too. She would be sitting at her desk, and underneath, she would feel something small, moist brush past her leg. There\u2019s never anything when she looks down.<\/span><\/p>\n

One day, she\u2019s in one of the bathroom stalls in the office. Suddenly the lights flicker. When she glances underneath the door, she sees a shadow stop in front of her. She holds her breath. But the presence disappears just as suddenly when she hears someone else enter the bathroom.<\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

She stirs when she feels his hand underneath her nightgown sliding up her thighs to reach between her legs. She pushes his hand away but he\u2019s insistent.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, Julia, it\u2019s been over a month.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cPhilip, let me sleep. I need more time.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know you want it too. We can make another baby.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She slaps him. \u201cI don\u2019t want another baby! I only want him<\/em>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He becomes angry and climbs on top of her, weighing her down. She struggles against him but he\u2019s too strong. He pulls and tugs at her clothes, puts a hand over her mouth, then turns her over. She squeezes her eyes shut and bites on the pillow as the pain comes with his every thrust. A tear escapes as she hears him grunting behind her. When she opens her eyes, she sees a small shadow moving in the dark. She blinks, it\u2019s gone. Philip is gasping.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI love you so much, Julia.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He collapses beside her, holds her close, and kisses her on the neck. He pulls the sheets over them and falls asleep. She turns away from him and looks out to the dark, watching for any movement.<\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

The next day, in the evening, she thinks she hears Philip\u2019s voice.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJulia! What are you doing here in the dark?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She rouses herself and realizes she\u2019s been sitting in the living room for some time.<\/span><\/p>\n

The office sent her home early. Why? They had found her screaming in the bathroom. They asked her to take some time off. They said she came back too soon after the miscarriage.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut what happened?\u201d Philip asks.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t remember. I just wanted to sit here for a bit and rest\u2026then lost track of time. So tired. I didn\u2019t sleep well last night.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He turns away to put his computer bag on a chair.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWho were you talking to? I heard you talking when I arrived.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNobody. I wasn\u2019t talking, Philip.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

He tells her maybe a short vacation would be good. What about the beach for a few days? Margaritas and sunsets, what about that?<\/span><\/p>\n

But she\u2019s already decided where to go. \u201cI want to visit my grandmother.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

The drive takes three hours through winding mountainous roads to reach Lola Mina\u2019s place. He stays with her for a couple of days. She tells him she wants to spend another week more with her grandmother.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI miss you already.\u201d He plants a kiss on her forehead.<\/span><\/p>\n

Lola Mina steps beside her and puts an arm around her waist as they watch Philip\u2019s car disappear around the bend.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cIs he good to you?\u201d Lola Mina asks.<\/span><\/p>\n

She shrugs. \u201cOne could always do worse.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But she manages a small smile to reassure her grandmother. A cold breeze sweeps past them. Lola Mina says she smells the rain coming.<\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

Julia wakes up in the middle of the night with the sudden crack of thunder. Streaks of lightning momentarily illuminate the room. Through the rain, she hears it, a distinct but faint sound of a baby crying. She tries to switch the lights on, but nothing happens. Getting up from the bed, she gropes her way out of the bedroom. She makes her way down the stairs, one hand gripping the railing, the other in front of her. The crying is unmistakable and seems to come from outside. She goes out the back door. With the rains beating down on her, she\u2019s instantly soaked through but hardly notices. The rains are blinding but she finds her way from memory to the forest behind the house. The sound must come from there. She looks around, straining to hear. The soft earth clings to her bare feet, but she tries to hurry and stumbles over protruding roots. The crying stops altogether when she reaches a clearing. She stops, sensing there\u2019s something else with her. Slowly, she sits back against a tree.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here. I heard you,\u201d she calls out, \u201cI-I want to see you.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

But that thing\u2014no, he\u2014 must smell her fear. He must be very close. She imagines his small body taut, his eyes watchful. She has to part her legs for him, yes, that\u2019s what she needs to do. The rains stop. She shivers, uneasy in the sudden quiet around her. Then she hears movement and the sound of labored breathing coming at her. She draws her own breath in sharply as she feels something ripping into her legs. She screams into the darkness.<\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

Julia wakes up in the hospital. Lola Mina and Philip float in and out of her consciousness. They are very tender, but they avoid looking her in the eye. Once, she thought she heard Lola Mina whispering to Philip, But, Diyos mio<\/em>, why would she scratch her legs so viciously?<\/span><\/p>\n

Whenever she\u2019s alone, Julia peers under the covers and traces the entire length of the wounds on her legs that reach all the way to her inner thighs. That makes her smile.<\/span><\/p>\n

**<\/span><\/p>\n

Lola Mina was combing Julia\u2019s hair before bed.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cLola, do you think the tiyanak was the baby of that girl who died in the forest?\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWhat nonsense has Inday been telling you?\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cBut Lola, maybe it didn\u2019t mean to kill her,\u201d Julia insisted, \u201cmaybe it was only trying to claw its way back into her tummy. Maybe it was trying to get born?\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cJulia! That\u2019s just all make-believe to try to scare children. I\u2019ll have a talk with Inday tomorrow.\u201d <\/em><\/span>\u00a0<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Lola Mina held her close. \u201cThere is no such thing as a tiyanak, I promise you. Come, child, time to sleep.\u201d<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\"\"Charisse J. Tubianosa was born in Manila, Philippines. Some time ago, she started an MA in creative writing at the University of the Philippines but ended up getting degrees in economics instead. Some of her professors told her there\u2019s probably no difference between the two. She has decided to write in both fields to see for herself. She currently resides in Barcelona, Spain.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0A tiyanak! That\u2019s what got that poor girl. Even the silent mouthing of the name \u201ctiyanak\u201d gave Julia goosebumps. She was staying with her grandmother, Lola Mina, for summer vacation. Lola Mina\u2019s cook, Inday, was convinced this malevolent creature had attacked the girl whose body had been found in the forest, the ground beneath soaked […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":34,"featured_media":2076,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[181],"tags":[432,256,438,465,437,434,435,436,439,257,184,491,466],"yoast_head":"\nTiyanak - Spanglish Voces Magazine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/31\/tiyanak\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tiyanak - Spanglish Voces Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0A tiyanak! That\u2019s what got that poor girl. 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