{"id":2488,"date":"2022-05-22T17:17:52","date_gmt":"2022-05-22T21:17:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/?p=2488"},"modified":"2022-05-22T17:52:59","modified_gmt":"2022-05-22T21:52:59","slug":"fe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/22\/fe\/","title":{"rendered":"Fe"},"content":{"rendered":"

I wonder if mami looks at me\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

and sees the little girl I used to be.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Does it keep her up at night,<\/span><\/p>\n

how the world got its hands-on\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

me? Even though so many\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

of her nights were filled<\/span><\/p>\n

with silent prayers.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Faith is believing without\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

seeing, but mami saw how\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

adulthood\u00a0<\/span>stole her kids from her<\/span><\/p>\n

one by one,<\/span><\/p>\n

year by year.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Does it remind her of how\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

she got on a plane years ago\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

for the first time,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

leaving her mother\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

for a country that was so\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

unforgiving?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sometimes I want to ask<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c<\/span>Was it all worth it?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

But I am afraid her\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

answer will be no.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What if she says\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

that her faith did not take\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

her very far and<\/span><\/p>\n

that if she could\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

turn back time\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

she would have\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

chosen herself first?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What if she says that the tears\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

and prayers were pointless\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

and that sometimes loving us\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

this much meant also hating\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

us <\/span>this much too?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What if she says that\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

giving up her life<\/span><\/p>\n

for her kids\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

<<le mat\u00f3 <\/span><\/i>l<\/span>a fe>>?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

And now she has nothing\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

to show for it but calloused red hands,<\/span><\/p>\n

white hair and a broken spirit.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What if she says that she wishes<\/span><\/p>\n

her mother would have taught her\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

that loving could be soft?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

What if she says that she wishes\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

her faith could have been enough<\/span><\/p>\n

for the both of us?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"Glendalee Diaz is a Dominican-American born and raised in New York. She is a former high school English teacher who is currently working on her M.Ed. in Teaching and Learning English. Glendalee self-published a book of poems and prose titled Caf\u00e9 con Leche<\/em> through Amazon Kindle. Although writing is not her full-time occupation, she hopes always to be surrounded by stories.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I wonder if mami looks at me\u00a0 and sees the little girl I used to be.   Does it keep her up at night, how the world got its hands-on\u00a0 me? Even though so many\u00a0 of her nights were filled with silent prayers.   Faith is believing without\u00a0 seeing, but mami saw how\u00a0 adulthood\u00a0stole her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":58,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[78,866,80],"tags":[869,870,871,867,846,845,205,626,827,847,235,184],"yoast_head":"\nFe - Spanglish Voces Magazine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/22\/fe\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Fe - Spanglish Voces Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I wonder if mami looks at me\u00a0 and sees the little girl I used to be.   Does it keep her up at night, how the world got its hands-on\u00a0 me? Even though so many\u00a0 of her nights were filled with silent prayers.   Faith is believing without\u00a0 seeing, but mami saw how\u00a0 adulthood\u00a0stole her […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/22\/fe\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Spanglish Voces Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-05-22T21:17:52+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2022-05-22T21:52:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/05\/Untitled-design-10.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Glendalee Diaz\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Glendalee Diaz\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/22\/fe\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/22\/fe\/\",\"name\":\"Fe - Spanglish Voces Magazine\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2022-05-22T21:17:52+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-05-22T21:52:59+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#\/schema\/person\/889e6fe1c6b9cb68a63814377c4bd3e8\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/22\/fe\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/22\/fe\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/22\/fe\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Fe\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/\",\"name\":\"Spanglish Voces Magazine\",\"description\":\"This platform is a tool to build community.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#\/schema\/person\/889e6fe1c6b9cb68a63814377c4bd3e8\",\"name\":\"Glendalee Diaz\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/aa5c0c36866af9333af953837e2ec301?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/aa5c0c36866af9333af953837e2ec301?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Glendalee Diaz\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/author\/glendalee-diaz\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Fe - Spanglish Voces Magazine","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2022\/05\/22\/fe\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Fe - Spanglish Voces Magazine","og_description":"I wonder if mami looks at me\u00a0 and sees the little girl I used to be.   Does it keep her up at night, how the world got its hands-on\u00a0 me? 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