{"id":2746,"date":"2023-06-27T23:15:38","date_gmt":"2023-06-28T03:15:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/?p=2746"},"modified":"2023-06-27T23:17:29","modified_gmt":"2023-06-28T03:17:29","slug":"graveyard-shift","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2023\/06\/27\/graveyard-shift\/","title":{"rendered":"Graveyard Shift"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s just Joe the pharmacist, myself, and the rock playlist in the background during the graveyard shift. He\u2019s semi-retired and dozes off every now and then. I work in an isolated room enclosed by plexiglass. Its shelves are full of pins, needles, bags, and meds. I mix IVs like a bartender would mix the finest drinks. 2 ml\u2019s here, 4 ml\u2019s there, pushed into a bag that shoots straight into someone\u2019s veins.<\/p>\n

Before I begin mixing, I make my rounds. The air conditioner pierces my skin as I walk through the corridors. At this time, the chatter, the rings, and the overhead pages have silenced. A sporadic elevator door, beeps, moans, snores, and soft wandering footsteps are the sounds that linger. There\u2019s also a desolate mood that clings to the walls, the beds, and to those who work here.<\/p>\n

Jameel Hamilton, 46 is the first on my list. He overdosed on heroin. His IVs are running fast. \u201cMix extra\u201d I write. With luck he\u2019ll stick around.<\/p>\n

Heroin was Sue\u2019s drug of choice, that\u2019s what I heard before she died. She asked me to forgive her for all that she did, like going into labor high and drunk. I never forgave. I never recovered; I was never able to call her mom.<\/p>\n

In the psyche ward, room 487\u2019s TV is on all the time. His stoic body lies across from the tiny monitor hung high on the wall. When he first came in he threw faeces and spit at the nurses. Every day I go in and his eyes follow me. I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s a plea or a threat. His paralysing agent needs to be replenished. \u201cFuck the painkiller\u201d I scribble in despise.<\/p>\n

The people from my past are surprised that I\u2019ve held a stable job. I grew up with the system and its scars. I heard I had a father, locked up somewhere. Sue was always too ill, too sick in self-depreciation. A black and blue across my cheek was the last draw, and at the age of 8 the cycle began, from one abusive foster home to another.<\/p>\n

I pass by ICU room 202. Estelle Shwartz, 87 years old. Fentanyl, versed, levophed and other drips running through her veins like cobwebs. \u2014 This one\u2019s a goner. \u2014 I think to myself. \u2014 She won\u2019t make through the night. \u2014 Nat\u2019s by her side, like every night. \u2014 We\u2019ve been together for 58 years. \u2014 He told me once while covering her frail body with a warm blanket. I wonder if they have children. I wonder if they live in a white picket fence.<\/p>\n

\u2014 Hey boy! \u2014 I hear, as I pass room 312. \u2014 Fetch me my coat! \u2014 I feel thuds in my chest and shivers down my spine. Taking two steps back I see Bill Cornwell, 79, sitting at the edge of his bed spewing venom at someone from his past while he looks out through the window. \u2014 He\u2019s a fucking asshole. \u2014 Nurse Jackie tells me. Her Jamaican accent makes it sound like a compliment. I highlight his name on the chart.<\/p>\n

Sue made it back into my life. \u2014 She had found Jesus. \u2014 She said, after one of the times she was at the brink of death. Towards the end she wasn\u2019t as ill as she thought. I wasn\u2019t as well as I was told.<\/p>\n

Between broken limbs, sutured skin, molestations, and rape I somehow made it to high school, where fights, expulsions and detention were as common as history and math.
\n\u2014 You\u2019ll have to learn how to fend for yourself. \u2014 The best advice that one of my social workers gave me. So, I signed up at the nearest technical school and beat the odds.<\/p>\n

After my rounds I head back to the pharmacy. Joe is leaned on his chair, his head against the wall and his eyes shut. Once inside the IV room I put on my mask, head and feet covers. Then I scrub my hands, my arms and finally dress up in a lab coat and gloves. It\u2019s like I\u2019m a different person. I can see the whole pharmacy through the plexiglass. The phone rings and Joe types something on the computer. He looks at me and I wave back. The music sounds louder in this space. I hear the words \u2026 It\u2019s like a face inside is right beneath my skin\u2026 playing in the background and the walls, the shelves, and my chest quiver.<\/p>\n

Sue lived with me till the end. I watched her suffer and made sure she slowly died. .<\/p>\n

I mix Estelle\u2019s cocktail and think of Nat and think about how things should be.<\/p>\n

I wonder how much pain Sue felt when the time came.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s room 487, the right dose of vecuronium to completely immobilize you, but you\u2019ll still know what\u2019s going on. No more shit from you.<\/p>\n

I see the highlight on my notes. My second foster dad had a bark like him. It was usually accompanied by his fat sweaty body forced into mine. \u2014 To redeem myself. \u2014 He used to say, crazy son of a bitch. The visions return. The voices sound louder. A visceral rush runs through my skin. It\u2019s like my own kind of high. Baptism By Fire jamming from my playlist, Sue\u2019s face within the verses and 10 ml\u2019s extra of untraceable fentanyl to send Cornwell nine feet under.<\/p>\n

Highway To Hell soothes my soul.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"Nancy Mej\u00edas
\nRep\u00fablica Dominicana\/Estados Unidos, 1970. Radica en los Estados Unidos desde peque\u00f1a. Escritora, fot\u00f3grafa y psic\u00f3loga. Realiz\u00f3 sus estudios iniciales en Nueva York y los superiores en La Rep\u00fablica Dominicana. Autora de cuentos de ficci\u00f3n en ingl\u00e9s y espa\u00f1ol. Participa del taller de escritura de Hern\u00e1n Vera en Miami desde el 2017. Varios de sus aforismos fueron incluidos en la agenda Para Trillar Caminos (Nueva York, 2017). En el 2019 fue semifinalista del concurso de cuentos Cuentomania con D.E.P y en el 2020 con Luzmary Unisex. Sus cuentos La
\nMosca, Ca\u00edda Libre y N\u00e1ufragos fueron publicados en Inficciones (Miami, 2020). \u201cLuzmary Unisex\u201d est\u00e1 incluido en la antolog\u00eda \u201cVacaciones sin hotel\u201d (Miami, 2021).<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s just Joe the pharmacist, myself, and the rock playlist in the background during the graveyard shift. He\u2019s semi-retired and dozes off every now and then. I work in an isolated room enclosed by plexiglass. Its shelves are full of pins, needles, bags, and meds. 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