{"id":2989,"date":"2024-12-14T10:30:04","date_gmt":"2024-12-14T14:30:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/?p=2989"},"modified":"2024-12-14T11:31:34","modified_gmt":"2024-12-14T15:31:34","slug":"the-weight-of-dreams","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/14\/the-weight-of-dreams\/","title":{"rendered":"The Weight of Dreams"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">At first he didn\u2019t think anything of it. Everybody falls sometimes. And especially Eduardo, who was always writing some song at the least opportune time. At a family gathering. When he was kissing his girl and suddenly had to jot down another line that popped into his head. Or when they asked him a question in class, and he heard the note he had been searching for everywhere, even in his dreams.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIf you keep up this music nonsense, you won\u2019t get very far,\u201d the father scolded. \u201cStudy something that will be useful to you when we\u2019re not around anymore. We\u2019re getting old, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hijo<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Who do you know that can support themselves this way?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Eduardo hushed him, giving him a kiss on his bald head. Don\u2019t be a grouch, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">pap\u00e1<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Didn\u2019t you write poems for <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">mam\u00e1<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">? Those passionate letters she read out loud to her friends. And what about the acrostic poems and speeches you write for birthdays and funerals? Who do you think I got the writing bug from?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cWhat I do is a hobby. You\u2019re a hopeless dreamer and you spend all your time thinking about writing. Soon you\u2019ll be done with college, and I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve made good use of your time there.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">He started to worry when the falls became frequent. And even more when, one day, his fingers failed him. Not due to distraction or lack of skill. They didn\u2019t respond when he tried to play a song. They stiffened on the guitar strings, and he had to remove them with his other hand. Scared to death. Fearing that it could be what he thought it was.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">Once he had gone with his Aunt Nelly to a march of men and women who suffered from the\u00a0 disease. With a mix of terror and admiration, he watched them move down Abancay Avenue. On foot. In wheelchairs, pushed by their mothers. With the help of a nurse.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cIt isn\u2019t hereditary,\u201d she told him that day. \u201cIn some cases, it develops in adolescence. But in a lot of others the illness doesn\u2019t manifest itself until age twenty or thirty. When the onset is sudden, they die quickly. Their own bodies start to turn on them. Everything in them atrophies until the machine stops working.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cAnd the ones participating in the march? Will they recover?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cThese are the most puzzling ones. They\u2019ve survived all their flare-ups, but death still stalks them around every corner. Meanwhile, they\u2019re here. With their heads held high and their muscles numb. Clinging to life, even though someone is holding them up with a strap.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">Aunt Nelly spoke of them with total naturalness, used to seeing worse things in the school for people with functional diversity issues. Cerebral palsy, for example. The effects of being born with one chromosome too few. Or having one too many. When you\u2019re deprived of oxygen for a few minutes after you\u2019re born, causing irreparable damage. He, on the other hand, couldn\u2019t sleep that night. He imagined them beautiful and slender. Doctors. Architects. With kids and dogs. With life suddenly truncated by the appearance of this damned disease.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cI don\u2019t think that you have it,\u201d the doctor reassured him several weeks later when he finally decided to do something about it. \u201cYou\u2019re young and, apart from these isolated incidents, you\u2019re in pretty good shape. We\u2019ll do a blood test to rule it out.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">He had the necessary tests done over the course of several days. Always fasting and with absolute faith in his doctor. Dr. Bioy was right. He couldn\u2019t have it. His jaws fit together squarely, as they had before. His movements were coordinated, and his fingers hadn\u2019t failed him again. Nothing but a couple of stumbles, without falling all the way to the ground.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt\u2019s lack of sleep, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hijo<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. How could you not be jittery when you spend all night writing? Do you think I don\u2019t see the light shining through the crack under your door?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cNow you spy on me, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">mam\u00e1<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">?\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cI should. It worries me to see you like this. Personally, I think you\u2019re anemic. All that songwriting is going to dry out your brain. And on top of that you write songs for your friends who don\u2019t pay you a cent.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">It had to be that. Anemia. Lack of sleep.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cIf you keep on going like this, you\u2019re going to give yourself a burnout that will leave you dimwitted, like Coquito Arroyo. Remember?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">Everyone in the neighborhood knew that Arroyo had wound up like that after an overdose, except for his parents who kept up the story of the burnout. Out of embarrassment. But starting tomorrow he would sleep more hours and do everything possible to save the academic year. He couldn\u2019t fool around for the rest of his life, writing songs for his buddies to sing in dive bars. Publishing his poems in local magazines. Writing random articles. He had to study something practical. Get a three-year degree so he could support himself and focus on his writing. Wasn\u2019t he destined to become a poet?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He started writing songs to win over Giovanna. At age fourteen. Even though he had a thin voice with few charms, she liked his cheesy lines. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Because of your love I am loving,<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \/ <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">delirious,<\/span><\/i> <i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">the contours of the moon<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. The youngest in his class, he had already grown a pair, and he told her how he felt in front of all his classmates.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cI\u2019m going to say yes to you, Barnuevo,\u201d she said after several attempts. \u201cBut the day you start writing songs for another girl, I\u2019ll kill you.\u201d She was taller than him, had curly hair, big eyes, and long, dreamy eyelashes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How many songs did he write for her in those years? The poet-musician had lost count a long time ago. Or of the lines that he composed for Julia and Carola. Or for Silvana Anchaigua. But in his sleepless nights, he would take out his scribbles, sing them under his breath, fix a word or two, and put them away again. If I die tomorrow, he\u2019d say to his father, gather up all my poems and publish them. Don\u2019t underestimate me, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">viejo<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. With my little poems and songs, I\u2019m gonna make history.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">His father was proud of him, though he always begged him to stop living with his head in the clouds. Deep down he would have liked to have done the same and not have gone into accounting. Maybe he should have asked more of his son, but Eduardo was his only child and he had the right to indulge him. Soon he would find his way. Soon he would start working for real.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cWhat do you mean you don\u2019t know what I have?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cThere are unexplained cases, Eduardo,\u201d Dr. Bioy responded, downcast. With his glasses in his hand.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cAnd my symptoms? I keep falling. My hand is unsteady when I write. I\u2019ve put a chair in the shower just in case.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cThe only thing I can tell you is that my whole team is analyzing your case. For now, all we can do is rule out possible illnesses with new tests. You\u2019re free to ask for a second opinion. In Houston, where the medical field is very advanced. Or in Switzerland, where there are hundreds of similar cases. But there they will tell you the same thing. I\u2019ve been doing this a long time and your medical file is a Gordian knot.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">They tried everything. In the United States and in their home. Traditional medicine and alternative. Needles and shots. Even a chemotherapy session that left him feeling like a wet rag, at the advice of an expert. Spiritual cleansings with animals sacrificed on his chest. Stomach pumpings and meditation. But nothing worked.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cStop wasting your money, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">pap\u00e1<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">,\u201d the son said to him with extreme difficulty. But Don \u00c1ngel Barnuevo was determined to save his son no matter what, refusing to see that, with each treatment, he got worse.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u00a0\u201cDon\u2019t you worry about that,\u201d the mother assured him. \u201cI have faith that soon we\u2019re going to get to the bottom of this and the doctors are going to leave you feeling like new. You have the entire Parish of San Alfonso praying for you. And the Sisters of the Sacred Heart dedicate their evening prayers to you, too.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">One night of restless sleep, he woke up his parents with an animal-like scream.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cI can\u2019t feel my legs,\u201d he tried to say. Moving his arms wildly, drooling incoherencies in the dark.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">It was half true. His left leg was paralyzed. And from that point on he used a wheelchair.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Aunt Nelly visited him in the afternoons, after spending the day working with the special-needs kids. Knowing that his illness had no cure, she did everything possible to brighten his days. First, she took him to a hippie masseuse who, in addition to kneading him into a trance-like state with a wet cloth over his head, talked to him about energy and chakras and other nonsense that made Eduardo laugh. Then she took him to a Valencian physical therapist who spent the entire hour stretching Eduardo\u2019s arms and telling him about the different kinds of rice dishes they cooked in his region. Finally, she bought him a recliner. So that he could have his legs massaged while he watched the <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">telenovela<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> with his mom.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cYou\u2019re spoiling him rotten, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hermana<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">,\u201d the father told her from the entrance to the dining room. \u201cAt this rate he\u2019ll never want to study. And he\u2019s promised me he\u2019ll pursue a career.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">He would say these things to his son to get him to flash one of his rare, malformed smiles. Because even though Eduardo barely spoke, and gestured with difficulty, the father wanted to believe that he was going to get well. But in the long nights, he held his wife, and together they cried, remembering the day they bought him his first guitar. The nostalgic lines that Lalo wrote for the girls he fell in love with. Full of spelling mistakes. Or the time that they refused to let him go to a party, and Eduardo, without saying a word, snuck out through the window, taking the keys to the truck with him.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">In the six years that he lived like that, with flare-ups interspersed with periods of remission, the house was transformed into a reception desk, an infirmary, and an auditorium. His friends arrived at all hours of the day to take him to the park. To play him one of his songs or to watch the soccer game. Together they cheered at the top of their lungs the historic day Peru scored three goals against Chile, and they cried like boys when they lost against Brazil.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">His former girlfriends fought to spend time with him. They brought him stuffed animals and movies. Or a lemon meringue pie that they had to deconstruct in the kitchen: putting it into a blender until it turned into liquid, and adding a spoonful of thickener so he could swallow it more easily.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cThank you for coming to see him,\u201d the mother cried when she said goodbye to them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cHow could I not, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Se\u00f1ora<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, when I\u2019m the love of his life?,\u201d Giovanna responded to cheer her up. \u201cEven if he\u2019s unfaithful to me with the others that come to see him, you know that I\u2019m still his number one.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">That\u2019s how she loved him, selflessly, regardless of the fact that her current partner reproached her for spending entire days in her ex\u2019s house, attending to him as if he were her patient.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">After taking all kinds of samples and ruling out a score of maladies, one March morning, Dr. Bioy concluded that Eduardo was suffering from a chronic illness that attacked the white brain matter and spinal cord. A type of unknown virus that, by eroding the fatty substance that isolates the nerves, had produced a series of irreparable short circuits.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">They had told him something similar in Houston a few months before, but having Bioy confirm it was a death sentence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">Don \u00c1ngel knew then that he had to publish his son\u2019s songs and poems. Edit them. Create final copies. Compile them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cYou should wait until I die,\u201d Eduardo said to him with a ghoulish grin. In his garbled speech.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cNo, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hijo<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Only you can help me arrange all this. Now that I\u2019m retired, nothing would make me happier than to be your secretary.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">From that day on, father and son spent their best shared mornings together. After breakfast, they would settle in at the dining room table and edit, line by line, what Eduardo had written down over many years in eighteen notebooks, on the covers of his books, on bits of napkin, cardboard, envelopes, and scrap paper. Not everything was dated, but together they were able to determine which were the oldest because his handwriting had changed a lot since he won the national poetry contest for Spring Day, at age eleven.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cI wrote this one for Julia, and I was sixteen then,\u201d he would explain to his father.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cAnd your friends sang this other one the summer we went to Paracas. You must have been about seventeen.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It was tedious work, but gratifying. Reading a song aloud and correcting a word. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the ship takes us back<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \/ <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">along the sea\u2019s unpredictable course<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Reading a line again and eliminating it entirely because it clashed with the rest of the poem. Or astonishing themselves to the point of tears upon confirming the artfulness of a poetic image, the internal rhythm of a phrase, the correct cadence\u2026 <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">through the virulent waters<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \/ <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">where once we drowned<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">like boys<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, \/ <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">our paper boats<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. When the poems were bad, they put them back without bothering to fix them. Like mischievous children who hide their ugly toys under the bed. Or behind a recliner.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">One day, after he had finished correcting a synalepha, he asked his father to take him to the garden.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIt\u2019s drizzling, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hijo<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. You\u2019re going to get soaked.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cI want to feel the mist,\u201d Eduardo responded forcefully, \u201ceven if I get pneumonia and die this afternoon.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">The father understood that they had to finish editing soon, even though there were still many poems left to go over. It was more important to take his son out for walks. To take a trip to the mountains and see the snow-capped volcanoes again. The lakes of the White Mountain Range. Or to take him to see the ocean.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cYou\u2019re both crazy if you think I\u2019m going to get behind this suicidal trip-idea,\u201d the mother protested.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">But they insisted on traveling, with the wheelchair, the medications, the thickening solutions, and everything else. She calmed down a bit when they told her they would bring Andr\u00e9s, the home health nurse who lived with them to carry Eduardo from place to place, take him to the bathroom and clean him, give him a seated shower, and trim the biblical-length beard that Eduardo refused to shave.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The plan was ambitious. Drive down the coast, visiting the southern beaches. Board a puddle jumper to see ancient geoglyphs. Traverse the Central Andes to enter the jungle. And cross the Amazon River by canoe.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">Just imagining them crossing mighty rivers in rudimentary vessels froze the mother\u2019s heart. But, this far down the road, she couldn\u2019t refuse, and she was the one who prepared their clothes and all the provisions so they wouldn\u2019t get cold or be too hot.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cIf my heart wasn\u2019t bad, I would go with you, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">hijo<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. Even though it\u2019s crazy, I understand that you want to do this. Promise me you\u2019ll be very careful. And you\u2019ll do what your father says. And you won\u2019t skip any of your medications.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The night before their departure, they had a small get-together. With his friends and former girlfriends. With the music that made him so happy. With guitars and<\/span> <span style=\"color: #000000;\">a <\/span><\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">caj\u00f3n<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. They reminisced about high school pranks. The one time he was sent to the principal\u2019s office for writing a few lines on a desk. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What are these monsters on the canvas for?<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \/ <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These mournful syllables? These lines?<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> The prom with his hair slicked back. When they asked him to recite <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Rebellious, my soul billows<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> to celebrate Independence Day.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">It was a memorable night, full of photos and memories projected in a slideshow. Sandwiches, drinks. Heartfelt speeches. And a pi\u00f1ata. It seemed like everyone was saying goodbye to a grandfather who had coddled them and not a twenty-five-year-old man.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When the books arrived, the mother began to cry with happiness and emotion. He had dedicated the volume to his parents. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For giving me life so many times<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. It\u2019s my son\u2019s book, she told her neighbors, promising them all a signed copy. Or a small poetry reading in the dining room.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">By that time Eduardo and his father had done a bit of everything, without her knowing it. They didn\u2019t want to give her a heart attack so that she\u2019d force them to come back home, they joked. Together they had ridden a rollercoaster in a fishing port. They had bathed buck-naked in some thermal pools without feeling at all ashamed about their bodies. And they had even tried some marihuana cookies, which made them laugh uncontrollably and sleep like logs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">Most of the time they slept in the same room. Nestled together, like when Lalo was little and would call to his father in the middle of the night because he was afraid. Even though Andr\u00e9s was always tending to Eduardo, the father wiped Eduardo\u2019s mouth with his cloth handkerchief, he did his utmost to feed him with a special spoon, waiting as long as it took for his son to awkwardly swallow his food, and he took care to put on Eduardo\u2019s mittens and scarf, or a blanket over his legs so he wouldn\u2019t get cold. More than father and son, they were two old mates, happy to spend their last hours on earth together.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cI would have liked not to be sick, he confessed one restless night. To have a career. To give you grandchildren.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">They had had a day of many emotions and memorable experiences. The altitude had affected them more than they had foreseen. And they felt it in their temples. In their chests. Eduardo had trouble breathing. His father did too.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">\u201cYou\u2019ve given me so much more,\u201d the father replied before Andr\u00e9s called the ambulance. He sang Eduardo a lullaby, soothing him to sleep with love. Ignoring his own headache, the intense pressure in his right arm, the tingling throughout his whole body. He recited several of Eduardo\u2019s poems from memory and managed to kiss his eyelids before cradling his head against his chest.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400; color: #000000;\">To continue the voyage together. Through other seas and other weathers\u2026 carrying aboard the weight of dreams.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><b>*<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u201cThe Weight of Dreams\u201d, originally published in Spanish as \u201cLa carga de los sue\u00f1os\u201d is one of eleven pieces of short fiction from Oswaldo Estrada\u2019s short-story collection <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Luces de emergencia<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (International Latino Book Awards 2020).<b>*<\/b> <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><b><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\" wp-image-3005 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Office-standing-1.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"145\" height=\"154\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Office-standing-1.jpeg 682w, https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Office-standing-1-283x300.jpeg 283w, https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/Office-standing-1-360x382.jpeg 360w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 145px) 100vw, 145px\" \/>Oswaldo Estrada<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Santa Ana, California, 1976) is a Peruvian-American writer. He is the author of a children\u2019s book, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">El secreto de los trenes<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (UAM, 2018), and of three collections of short stories, <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Luces de emergencia<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Valpara\u00edso, 2019), <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Las locas ilusiones y otros relatos de migraci\u00f3n<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Axiara, 2020), and <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Las guerras perdidas<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Sudaquia 2021). <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">He has edited the volume <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Incurables. Relatos de dolencias y males<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Ars Communis, 2020) with twenty Latin American authors who live in the US. In 2020, he won two International Latino Book Awards, as well as the International Latino and Latin American Book Fair Prize from Tufts University. <\/span><\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In 2021, he was a finalist for the Doris Betts Fiction Prize. His book <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Las guerras perdidas<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> won a Gold Medal (First Place) for Best Collection of Short Stories in Spanish at the International Latino Book Awards 2022. His most recent book is the novel <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Tus peque\u00f1as huellas <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(Suburbano, 2023). He is a professor of Latin American Literature at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><b><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\" wp-image-3007 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/rgaronzik-Edited.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"141\" height=\"141\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/rgaronzik-Edited.jpg 285w, https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/rgaronzik-Edited-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/rgaronzik-Edited-120x120.jpg 120w, https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/rgaronzik-Edited-80x80.jpg 80w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 141px) 100vw, 141px\" \/>Rebecca Garonzik<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> (Baltimore, Maryland, 1983) is an Assistant Professor of Spanish specializing in contemporary Latin American and Latinx Literatures at The College of Wooster in Wooster, Ohio. As a literary scholar, she has published articles on Julio Cort\u00e1zar, Sandra Cisneros, and Cristina Rivera Garza. Her current book project explores the literary intersections between left-wing politics and the revolutionary erotic. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At first he didn\u2019t think anything of it. Everybody falls sometimes. And especially Eduardo, who was always writing some song at the least opportune time. At a family gathering. When he was kissing his girl and suddenly had to jot down another line that popped into his head. Or when they asked him a question [&hellip;]<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":80,"featured_media":3004,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[78,181],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.13 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Weight of Dreams - Spanglish Voces Magazine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/14\/the-weight-of-dreams\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Weight of Dreams - Spanglish Voces Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"At first he didn\u2019t think anything of it. Everybody falls sometimes. And especially Eduardo, who was always writing some song at the least opportune time. At a family gathering. When he was kissing his girl and suddenly had to jot down another line that popped into his head. 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