{"id":3010,"date":"2024-12-28T12:10:48","date_gmt":"2024-12-28T16:10:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/?p=3010"},"modified":"2025-01-03T23:29:57","modified_gmt":"2025-01-04T03:29:57","slug":"the-last-debate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/","title":{"rendered":"The Last Debate"},"content":{"rendered":"

The hospital room was quiet except for the steady beeping of the heart monitor and the soft hum of the air conditioning. Outside, the sun was setting, casting long shadows on the walls, but inside, time seemed to stand still.<\/span><\/p>\n

On TV, these moments usually unfold on stormy days, with heavy rain beating against the hospital window. But today was different. It was sunny and calm, what the weatherman called \u201ca perfect beach or travel day.\u201d For me, though, this day was anything but perfect. My dad was fighting for his life, and I was trapped in the waiting room of uncertainty, desperate for the medical staff to figure out the next steps.<\/span><\/p>\n

“How are you, Dad?” I asked, already knowing the answer, but needing him to engage, to feel my presence in this battle.<\/span><\/p>\n

A calm voice interrupted my thoughts as the door opened. “Hello, I’m Dr. Gonzalez, the lead doctor tending to your father.”<\/span><\/p>\n

“Thank you, Doctor,” I replied, shaking his hand. “I’m Marco. Please, tell me, where does my father\u2019s condition stand?”<\/span><\/p>\n

Dr. Gonzalez hesitated. \u201cCould we speak outside for a moment?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

His request sent chills down my spine. I\u2019d seen enough medical dramas to know that rarely something good comes from a doctor asking to speak privately.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to be very frank with you, Marco\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The doctor explained that without immediate surgery, my dad wouldn\u2019t survive the night. The aneurysm in his chest was a ticking time bomb, and every minute without intervention brought him closer to the inevitable. But my father had refused the surgery, citing his faith as the ultimate guide for his life.<\/span><\/p>\n

Faith? It was always my father\u2019s crutch, not mine. I\u2019d walked away from it years ago, during Sunday sermons filled with fire and brimstone. A God didn\u2019t heal the sick; science did. Prayer didn\u2019t save lives; surgery did.<\/span><\/p>\n

I returned to his bedside, my hands clasped tightly, feeling helpless as I tried to find the right words. Convincing him would be tough. My dad\u2019s faith wasn\u2019t just deep\u2014it was stubborn, a cornerstone of his identity. El viejo es terco como una mula. <\/em>The surgery required a blood transfusion, a direct conflict with his beliefs. And I, an atheist, feared he would shut me out the moment I challenged his convictions.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDad,\u201d I began softly, \u201cI spoke with Dr. Gonzalez and his staff. They told me about the aneurysm. Every minute without intervention is dangerous to your life.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

My father, a man of unshakable faith, shook his head weakly, his eyes closed as he whispered, “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” His voice, though frail, carried a conviction that made my stomach churn.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Please, Dad,” I urged, my voice thick with desperation. “The doctor said the surgery could save you. You don\u2019t have to die like this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d he responded sternly, “Acts 15:28\u201329 prohibits blood transfusions. I don\u2019t want to risk my soul and go to hell, son!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

“But Dad,” I countered, “Exodus 21:19 says, ‘one shall surely heal,’ which gives the physician a mandate to heal you. Refusing medical care might not be faith in your God \u2013 it could also be seen as a foolish choice.”<\/span><\/p>\n

He shook his head, closing his eyes again as if to shield himself from my words. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I had spent my life distancing myself from the church, from the very faith that now stood between my father and me. Yet, I understood it too well.<\/span><\/p>\n

“Dad, you always taught me that God gave us free will and helps those who help themselves. Isn’t this surgery just a way of using the tools your God provided? Doctors, medicine\u2014they’re all part of God\u2019s creation. No?”<\/span><\/p>\n

“You make a good point, mi hijo,” he conceded. “But the fact still stands that God is the one who holds power over life and death. There are limits, and to interfere too much is to show a lack of trust in God\u2019s judgment.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you understand?” I leaned in, my frustration boiling over. “We don\u2019t have to lose you\u2014Mom doesn\u2019t have to lose you! Wouldn’t your God want you to honor your family\u2019s love for you, to fight for us as much as you fight for your faith?”<\/span><\/p>\n

My father opened his eyes, looking at me with a serene expression that only deepened my anger. “My son,” he began softly, “God’s ways are higher than our ways, and God\u2019s thoughts are greater than our thoughts. If it is God\u2019s will that I leave this world now, then who am I to resist?<\/span><\/p>\n

I clenched my fists, feeling a mixture of helplessness and rage. “What if this surgery is God\u2019s will, a way of giving you more time with us?”<\/span><\/p>\n

My father\u2019s breathing grew more labored, each word a struggle, yet his resolve did not waver. “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. I trust God\u2019s plan, even when I don\u2019t understand it.”<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt a lump rise in my throat, my voice cracked. “What about Mom? Me? Don\u2019t we matter?\u201d \u201cDoes our love mean so little to you?”<\/span><\/p>\n

A long silence fell between us, broken only by the sound of the heart monitor, each beep a cruel reminder of the time we were losing. His eyes softened, and he reached out a trembling hand to touch mine. “Mi hijo, it is not that your lives mean little to me. You mean everything to me. But I must trust God\u2019s wisdom, even when it is painful, even when it is hard. I believe God has a purpose in all things, even in our suffering.”<\/span><\/p>\n

I squeezed his hand, trying to find the right words, trying to bridge the chasm between our beliefs.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cRemember when I was a kid and you stayed up all night to help me when I was sick? You didn\u2019t pray for me to get better, Dad\u2014you held me, made tea, did everything you could. This is the same. You fought for me then, so why won\u2019t you let us fight for you now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

My father\u2019s eyes drifted closed for a moment, and I thought he might have fallen asleep. But then he opened them again, staring at the ceiling, his brow furrowed in thought. His hand trembled as it rested in mine, his grip weak but still present. It was as if his body were fighting against the time slipping away, even as his spirit sought peace in surrender.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cMarco,\u201d he whispered, his voice barely audible. \u201cYou make me doubt.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The words startled me, cutting through the hum of the machines and the steady beeping of the heart monitor. I leaned forward, gripping his hand tighter. “Dad, doubt isn’t a bad thing. It\u2019s part of faith. It\u2019s part of being human.”<\/span><\/p>\n

He turned his head toward me, his eyes glassy but focused. “I have lived my whole life trusting in God. Trusting that God\u2019s plan is greater than my own understanding. And now, here I am…” He trailed off, his voice cracking with emotion. “I don\u2019t know. I don’t know if I am holding on to faith or if I am just afraid to let go of what I\u2019ve always believed.” His confession hung in the air, raw and unexpected.<\/span><\/p>\n

Tears slipped from his eyes, and his lips quivered. He turned his head away, staring at the window where the last light of the setting sun painted the walls in soft hues of orange and gold. “I want to stay,” he whispered, so softly I almost didn\u2019t hear him. “I want to stay with you, with your mother. But… if I stay, am I betraying God? Am I betraying everything I\u2019ve ever believed in?”<\/span><\/p>\n

I leaned forward, the plea in my eyes matching the intensity of his words. “Choosing to live isn\u2019t letting go of your faith, Dad. You always said that faith is about trust, but it’s also about questioning, about seeking answers. I think your God would understand if you chose to stay. Isn\u2019t that what you would tell your others?”<\/span><\/p>\n

I felt the air in the room shift\u2014an almost imperceptible pause, as if time itself held its breath. The beeping of the machines filled the silence, each note a cruel reminder of time slipping away. For a moment, his breathing slowed, and his gaze softened. I saw a flicker of something in his eyes\u2014hope, maybe, or just the tiniest sliver of peace. His lips parted as if he were about to speak again, as if he might agree, as if he might give in. But before either of us could speak again, before my dad could find the answer he sought, his chest hitched as he struggled for air. I could see the fight in him\u2014the battle between his body\u2019s instinct to survive and his spirit\u2019s need to surrender. And then, as if the choice had been made for him, his chest fell still.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDad?\u201d panic rose in my throat.<\/span><\/p>\n

A sharp prolonged beep pierced the air, shattering everything. The monitors flashed red, and the nurse rushed in, followed by Dr. Gonzalez. I was pushed aside as they tried to revive him, their actions frantic and focused. But deep down, I knew it was too late. The beeping flattened into a single, unrelenting tone. The nurse turned to me\u2014her expression solemn. I barely registered her words.<\/span><\/p>\n

I stood frozen, staring at his lifeless form. The debate, the arguments\u2014they felt distant now, swallowed by the finality of death. Had I planted a seed of doubt in his mind, or had I robbed him of peace in his final moments? I\u2019ll never know if I helped him see the world differently or if my words solidified his refusal of the surgery. That uncertainty will haunt me more than any unanswered question ever could.<\/span><\/p>\n

As I looked at his face, peaceful in death, I whispered, \u201cI hope you found your answer.\u201d And for the first time in years, I prayed\u2014not to any god I believed in, but to the faint hope that, somehow, he\u2019d found peace. His faith had taken him from us, and my words had failed to bring him back.<\/span><\/p>\n

I guess, in the end, we all leave it up to faith\u2014even when we don\u2019t believe. I walked away, the beeping of the heart monitor faded, leaving only silence\u2014and questions I\u2019d never have the answer to.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

\"\"Edwin Rosario Mazara<\/a><\/span>\u00a0is the founder of<\/span>\u00a0Spanglish Voces<\/span><\/a>, a non-profit promoting community building through the arts. He also founded<\/span>\u00a0La Sala Talks<\/span><\/a>, an outlet that communicates diverse perspectives within our cultures. Currently serves as a Communications Director at the NY State Senate\u2014an activist who loves reading, la m\u00fasica & conversations & las miles de historias de los desconocidos.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The hospital room was quiet except for the steady beeping of the heart monitor and the soft hum of the air conditioning. Outside, the sun was setting, casting long shadows on the walls, but inside, time seemed to stand still. On TV, these moments usually unfold on stormy days, with heavy rain beating against the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3032,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[78,181],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Last Debate - Spanglish Voces Magazine<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Last Debate - Spanglish Voces Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The hospital room was quiet except for the steady beeping of the heart monitor and the soft hum of the air conditioning. Outside, the sun was setting, casting long shadows on the walls, but inside, time seemed to stand still. On TV, these moments usually unfold on stormy days, with heavy rain beating against the […]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Spanglish Voces Magazine\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2024-12-28T16:10:48+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2025-01-04T03:29:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/png.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1024\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Edwin Rosario Mazara\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Edwin Rosario Mazara\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/\",\"name\":\"The Last Debate - Spanglish Voces Magazine\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2024-12-28T16:10:48+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2025-01-04T03:29:57+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ff59ed6f3611ee2b82abd86db9e662e9\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Last Debate\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/\",\"name\":\"Spanglish Voces Magazine\",\"description\":\"This platform is a tool to build community.\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ff59ed6f3611ee2b82abd86db9e662e9\",\"name\":\"Edwin Rosario Mazara\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/61c762a38d665ab3d93ad26f8600992f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/61c762a38d665ab3d93ad26f8600992f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Edwin Rosario Mazara\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/author\/edwinmazaragmail-com\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Last Debate - Spanglish Voces Magazine","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Last Debate - Spanglish Voces Magazine","og_description":"The hospital room was quiet except for the steady beeping of the heart monitor and the soft hum of the air conditioning. Outside, the sun was setting, casting long shadows on the walls, but inside, time seemed to stand still. On TV, these moments usually unfold on stormy days, with heavy rain beating against the […]","og_url":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/","og_site_name":"Spanglish Voces Magazine","article_published_time":"2024-12-28T16:10:48+00:00","article_modified_time":"2025-01-04T03:29:57+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1024,"height":1024,"url":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/png.png","type":"image\/png"}],"author":"Edwin Rosario Mazara","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Edwin Rosario Mazara","Est. reading time":"9 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/","url":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/","name":"The Last Debate - Spanglish Voces Magazine","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2024-12-28T16:10:48+00:00","dateModified":"2025-01-04T03:29:57+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ff59ed6f3611ee2b82abd86db9e662e9"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/2024\/12\/28\/the-last-debate\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Last Debate"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/","name":"Spanglish Voces Magazine","description":"This platform is a tool to build community.","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ff59ed6f3611ee2b82abd86db9e662e9","name":"Edwin Rosario Mazara","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/61c762a38d665ab3d93ad26f8600992f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/61c762a38d665ab3d93ad26f8600992f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Edwin Rosario Mazara"},"url":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/author\/edwinmazaragmail-com\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3010"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3010"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3010\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3040,"href":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3010\/revisions\/3040"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3032"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3010"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.spanglishvoces.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}