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I wonder if mami looks at me 

and sees the little girl I used to be.


Does it keep her up at night,

how the world got its hands-on 

me? Even though so many 

of her nights were filled

with silent prayers.


Faith is believing without 

seeing, but mami saw how 

adulthood stole her kids from her

one by one,

year by year.


Does it remind her of how 

she got on a plane years ago 

for the first time, 

leaving her mother 

for a country that was so 



Sometimes I want to ask

Was it all worth it?” 

But I am afraid her 

answer will be no.


What if she says 

that her faith did not take 

her very far and

that if she could 

turn back time 

she would have 

chosen herself first?


What if she says that the tears 

and prayers were pointless 

and that sometimes loving us 

this much meant also hating 

us this much too?


What if she says that 

giving up her life

for her kids 

<<le mató la fe>>?

And now she has nothing 

to show for it but calloused red hands,

white hair and a broken spirit.


What if she says that she wishes

her mother would have taught her 

that loving could be soft?


What if she says that she wishes 

her faith could have been enough

for the both of us?

Glendalee Diaz is a Dominican-American born and raised in New York. She is a former high school English teacher who is currently working on her M.Ed. in Teaching and Learning English. Glendalee self-published a book of poems and prose titled Café con Leche through Amazon Kindle. Although writing is not her full-time occupation, she hopes always to be surrounded by stories.

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